Are you a man approaching middle age and desperately clinging to your youthful cachet?  Then the Billy Jealousy line of health and beauty aids is just the salve to ease your gradual decline into mediocrity.

Liquid Sand

Self mockery aside, I wholeheartedly endorse the brand.  I was quite skeptical at first when my girlfriend first introduced me to a collection of bottles proudly featuring a stylized dragon and named Billy Jealousy.  I thought to myself, “these various oils and ointments will go great with my collection of Affliction T-shirts and subscription to Maxim magazine.”  But when I actually tried these products, I was pleasantly surprised.

I first applied the LiquidSand exfoliating facial cleanser.  The suspended particles were perfectly sized so that they weren’t too abrasive to be painful but nevertheless felt productive.

The formula itself, as a whole, felt well balanced — my skin felt moisturized while still rinsing cleanly and the alpha hydroxy acids did not irritate my face.  I appreciated this characteristic, especially as part of my pre-shave regimen when I must already subject my skin to my inept flailings with a razor.

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After rinsing, I then proceeded to spread the Hydroplane Super-Slick Shave Cream.  I have been a foaming cream man since puberty and looked dubiously at this non-sudsy pretender.  Once again, Billy Jealousy exceeded my expectation.

About Face Anti Aging Serum

The combination of post face wash moisture and the shave cream combined to form the perfect shaving accompaniment.  There was no snagging, even against the grain.  And the cream was much cleaner than dealing with foamy mess everywhere.  Billy Jealousy has definitely made a convert of me.

I ended my routine with the About Face Anti-Aging Serum.  It seemed to combine well with the residual Hydroplane and leave my skin feeling nicely coated, as opposed to greasy or gloppy.

I understand that it is not intended for use after shaving; I will assume that my skin in that highly sensitive, post-shave state is ill-equipped  to stand up to the serum’s exfoliating effect.  Nevertheless I experienced no significant irritation.  Indeed, my skin felt marvelously pampered.

The entire line was not heavily scented, which means it won’t fight too much with your choice of cologne (not that anything is a match for my High Karate, Rowr!)

It’s  exactly the same qualities I seek in a good wing man – someone who’s there to make you look good in front of the ladies and knows when to take a hint and fade into the woodwork.  And I’m pretty sure that Billy Jealousy would have no problem jumping on a grenade, and chatting up her still-sober roommate.

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