With the success of ad campaigns based on certain hyperbolic, ubermensch constructions of masculinity, I’m primed to be excited about a grooming product named after a pirate. Having cut my proverbial shaving ‘teeth’ on low end, foamy messes, I was intrigued to use a product that didn’t leave me a face-full of Santa Claus-esque down.

Bluebeard’s Revenge vegetarian and cruelty-free shaving cream creates an amazing lather that is luxe and creamy and doesn’t leave you feeling like you’ve been dowsed by a fire extinguisher. As someone with sensitive skin, I’m appreciative of the moisturizers and various other emollients designed to reduce irritation. The product was gentle enough that it made my post-shave routine of applying a light moisturizer almost superfluous.

But the real star is their key ingredient, Decelerine, a compound that reduces the rate of hair growth by as much as 30%. If I can skip shaving in the morning, I can allocate that found time in more worthwhile activities, namely sleeping and dreaming of plundering booty. I’m sure Bluebeard would approve. You can buy this product and other manly shaving products at the Shaving Shack.